ok, i seriously suck at posting. and life in general.

I'm going through that 'i miss college' phase of my life, i think.


probably because after getting my degree, i work for blockbuster. not that i find anything wrong with the company, i jsut had expected more of myself after spending...what? 60,000 dollars or so on my education. i'm so glad i have that degree. its sitting in a cardboard box in my closet. Doing a lot of good there, really.

I would look for another job, but when am i supposed to? i work from 9-6 everyday. i give all my energy to a job that will take me nowhere, and is barely paying my bills, let alone letting me save money for my future, and the goals i have...

Which brings me to another subject.... do i have goals? i never know what i wanted to be in life... what i wanted to do. Am i really one of those girls that just wants someone to come along and take care of her? surely not. I never want to be a burden on anyone.... but here i am, most likely stressing my sister out, cause i live with her (we share an apartment), and i know she wants more for me, as well.  my problem is that i don't know what i'm good at. i've never truely excelled at anything, i think. Am i doomed to a mediocre life?

I used to be such a happy person. Now i just feel...drained. And that is why i need to get out of the job i have now. i need to find something i'm more suited to. i need to start applying for as many jobs as i can. I need to do so many things.... and yet, at this hour, the best thing for me is to go to bed, so i can manage to roll out of it in time for work tomorrow. i never thought i'd say this, but i seriously need less hours.

 so... i started this lj like... ages ago, to post a comment on someone's story.

then, i forgot my password and username...

and i never posted anything.

so i'm being a good pea, and posting.